Queens Vs. Soldiers: Becoming the Pastor's wife you were meant to be

Queens Vs. Soldiers:

Becoming the Pastor’s wife you were meant to be.

by Joleen Steel

Well, my dear PW’s I’ve been studying and praying through the book of 2 Timothy in preparation for our chat today. You will need your bible, a piece of paper and pen. I’ll go put on the kettle while you get ready. Let’s meet back here in a minute.

Okay, ready? Here’s your tea. I love almonds and dates with my tea. Help yourself!.

Can we start with prayer? Let’s ask the great teacher to be with us.

Dear Lord,

We come to you as your children. Open our hearts to hear from you today. I pray your spirit will be felt in this time together. We submit ourselves to you. Amen.

So, who are you as a pastor’s wife? For example, are you a queen?  A first lady? Perhaps a shepherds maid? I know many of us would say, we are help mates or partners in ministry. This is true. However, I want us to get a bit deeper. Let’s try a little exercise. I’ll say a few words and you write your first thought. Ready?

Elders
Deacons
Board Meetings
Church people

If you are honest it’s likely the first words you wrote were:

Demanding
Grouchy
Annoying
Hurtful
Dangerous

Without negating the pain some of us have felt at the words and actions of God’s people, I propose the real problem is not with church people. Deep down, we have set ourselves up as Queens who demand loyalty and require special treatment. We are First Ladies wielding power and attempting to sway the voters in our “Presidents” favor. We are lowly Shepherds maids, afraid of the future and antagonistic about the present.

It’s unlikely you’ve assigned any of these labels to yourself knowingly.  But do any of these thoughts seem familiar.

Queens think:

“Look at all we’ve done for them and this is how they treat us?”

“I can’t believe they didn’t do a thing for Pastor’s appreciation month. We deserve better than this!”

First Ladies think:

“The elders had better vote in favor of my husbands agenda or I am going to make some noise!”

“These people need strong leadership. It’s certainly a good thing we’re here to shape things up.”

Shepherd maids think:

“I’m so unworthy of this job. It’s only a matter of time before they find out how incompetent I am.”

“I am sick and tired of cleaning house and hosting meetings!”

The temptation to all three titles lies within each of us. Especially when we are afraid or feel betrayed.

Paul suggested three better titles to Timothy. Open your bible and let’s take a look. Read 2 Timothy 2: 2-7 Put a circle around the word soldier in vs.3 &4 then circle the word Athlete in vs. 5 and farmer in vs. 6.

On a piece of paper, or in the margin of your bible write the three words. Observe the text. Under each word write everything you can observe about each word. For example the soldier is ‘good” and is told to “suffer hardship.” What else do you see? What does a soldier do or not do? Write that down. Who does he wish to please? Okay, how about the Athlete? What does he do? What’s the only way for him to win the prize?  Now the farmer, What words describe him? What does he receive? When should he receive it?

Good work! Who knew you’d be doing bible study today, aye?

So, a soldier thinks:

“I won’t become entangled in this quarrel.”

“I will work hard and endure this for the sake of the one who enlisted me.”

“These people may find freedom because of my actions today.”

An Athlete thinks:

“I can work through this pain. I won’t give up. I will compete today.”

“They are breaking the rules. But, I will train harder and stay focused on the prize.”

A Farmer thinks:

“I will get up early tomorrow to water the seeds I planted.”

“It’s a tough season but I can’t stop working to save the crops.”

How about it? Will you join me in changing our positions from queen, first lady and shepherd’s maid, to soldier, athlete and farmer?

I can tell you a quick story of how this looked this week for me. In short, I have been ill with a horrible croupy cough, fevers and headaches for ten days. In that ten day time there have been no less than four church type meetings on my front porch. Each time, I tidied my house, greeted our guests, poured tea and retreated graciously into the house. How could I do that if I were a queen? Nope, this week I was the soldier who refused to become entangled in selfish thinking. I was the athlete who endured and competed. I was the hard-working farmer who realized that caring for the “crops” is just part of a good days work.

No, it’s not because of my awesome character. It’s only the time I’ve spent in the Word, listening and praying. God has done this! God has given me a new song!

It’s time to let God drive out bitterness and fear. Allow His word to change our attitudes towards his people. We must not sit in the dark licking our wounds and whining to each other. Let us work hard, endure suffering, and “Kindle afresh the gift of God” which is in us. 2 Tim 1:6

If you find yourself recoiling at these words because of personal pain or betrayal. I encourage you to find safe places to cry out to God. Get a journal and talk to God about it. Contact us and we will pray for you. We are already praying for you to become the Pastor’s wife God means you to be.

love, Joleen and Doreen.

Visit Pastorswife101's profile on Pinterest.