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10 ways to love the church you're in

Ten ways to love the church you're in 

BE YOURSELF

Are you creative and outgoing or quiet and introverted? Either way, embrace who you are. God will show you how to love people in your own unique way. Don't worry about what the last Pastor's wife or your Senior Pastor's wife is like. 


Being authentically you will keep your heart open to loving the church you are in.

FIND YOUR NICHE

You do not have to, nor should you do everything. Even if it's a small church. Just say no to things that seem to suck the life out of you. I know there's times to be sacrificial but committing to run the nursery, sing in the choir, organize the ladies luncheon and be on the missions committee is not sacrificial, it's downright insane! Pick one area that you really love. If what you love is soap making then invite college girls over to make soap! If you are an introvert then pray about that one woman who may also be an introvert whom you can connect with and be a blessing to. 

Finding your Niche is crucial to keeping your heart open to loving the church you are in. 

Pray for your Church

Yes, I mean it! Pray for the people you see every week. Pray for the children. Pray for the pastor! Pray for the music director. Pray for the tech. people. Pray for the elderly. Pray for the young families. Pray for single women. Pray for the single men. Pray they will find each other! Just pray. 

Praying for your church will fling the doors of your heart open to love the church you are in. 

Forgive Quickly

We live in a fallen world with fallen people. We mess up. They mess up. We are all a mess. Don't hold onto offenses. If you've been hurt so badly that you just don't think you can forgive, ask the Lord how he did it. How did he forgive those who mocked him, scorned him, betrayed him, spit on him, crucified him? Jesus will show you how to forgive.

Forgiving quickly guards your heart so you can love the church you are in.

Put some wise phrases in your pocket

Unexpected requests, comments and statements can catch us off guard. It's best to have some wise phrases ready just in case. Here's a few for you. 

"I'm sorry, I don't relay church messages to my husband. I'd hate to forget or not be precise. I'm sure you understand."

"Yes, everyone's children are works in progress. Mine are no exception. I'm so glad they are normal!" 

"I know you care deeply about this church. I do as well. Let's commit to praying for this issue. I'm confident God will reveal His heart to us."

Keeping wise phrases in your pocket provides a way for you to love the church you're in.

Invest in people B4 programs

Wow, this is a biggie. Programs and people seem to be intermingled. If you are working in youth ministry then you are investing in the youth. If you are singing on the worship team you are investing in the whole congregation. But that's not going to help you love your church. You need to be intentional about people. Who are you caring for? Who feels comfortable calling you by your first name, texting you for advice or dropping by for tea? If there is nobody, I'd like to suggest it's because you are program driven. If you are exhausted and unable to welcome anyone into your real space of life, it may be time to rethink what you're doing. Invite that  woman to go grocery shopping with you. Text that youth a bible verse and tell them you are praying. Create time to be with people outside of regular church programs. You may be surprised how encouraged you feel.

Investing in people B4 programs will drive you to love the church you're in. 

 

Remember to say Thank You!

I'm terrible at this one. I've just been through minor surgery and felt the outpouring of love from my church in the form of meals, cards and caring emails. My next priority after this post is to sit down and write out my thank you notes. REAL PAPER, thank you notes. 

Saying, "Thank you" will remind you to love the church you're in.

Invite people over!

Oh dear, I heard that groan from my introverted PW's. It's okay to keep it simple. Just a cup of coffee or tea and a store bought cake or tray of cookies will do. Throw them on a pretty plate of your own and all will be well! As far as conversation, let your talkative hubby lead.This is why you need to invite people over at least once a month... ...Because they want to know you.  Also, if you've shared a meal or a cookie with someone you will feel more comfortable sharing your wise phrases if needed. Who knows, you may just find you really like the people in your church. It is true! Inviting people over fills your heart to love the church you're in. 

Protect your family time

This should come as no surprise. It's a doozie!  How on earth do you protect your family time? It is different for every one but here's what we do. 

No technology on Sundays. Sundays are crazy enough without fighting over screen time. So our kids know Sunday afternoons are time to chill, play games and/or nap. 

No technology before or right after school. Again, so much is going on we just had to put a stop to the madness. Once homework is done and chores, then we allow limited screen time.

Guy time and Date night. Since we only have boys, they have weekly "guy time" with their dad. Dave takes them each out for a treat or outdoor activity.  Dave and I also have a weekly date night. Sometimes we call it a couch date when we are penny poor or bone weary, but we still send the boys off to do something so we can talk and drink coffee and catch up. 

Protecting your family time will keep your heart fresh to love the church you're in.

Stay in the Word

This should go without saying, but I'll be the first to admit my dedicated time to bible study easily slips away in the mayhem of ministry. Don't let the happen! Allowing the truth of the Word of God to permeate your heart is essential to all nine of the points above. If you are needing some accountability join one of our free bible studies here at PW101. Links below. 

Staying in the Word increases your ability to love the church you're in. 

Wow, if you stuck with me all the way through this list you are already well on your way to loving the church you are in. I pray you will put these ten things into practice. Feeling overwhelmed? Start with the one that seems easiest and do that. I am so glad you are a Pastor's Wife! Let's lean into Jesus together and work for His glory! 

Under the same wing,

-Joleen

Philippians study

2Timothy study

Living a Joyfilled, Pastor's Wife, Life

I'm going to tell you a secret. Some of you already know it.  But here it goes...

... I LOVE BEING A PASTOR"S WIFE!

I believe it is possible to live a joy filled, pastor's wife life. 

I could give you five ways to success or lay out a strategy for implementation, but It's really not that complicated.
There's really only ONE thing you need to know. 

You are not special. 

OUCH! Sorry.
Of course you are loved and valued and treasured. What I mean to say, is let's not buy into the philosophy that says PW's are somehow living martyrs or singular victims in this fallen world. That is just where the enemy would have us.

When we get to heaven, I'm pretty sure there will not be a special Pastor's wife reception.

 In fact, I'm counting on standing shoulder to shoulder with  you and feeling such solidarity in our love for Christ that PW will no longer be a label for any of us.  I will simply be Joleen, Christ Follower. 

Pastor's wife 101: This would be my first lesson. My first challenge to you. 

Write out what is hard about being a Pastor's wife. Now write out what the blessings are of being a Pastor's wife. 

Try to put your words in their simplest form. See my example below.
Now sit down with a friend who is not a pastor's wife and ask her if she struggles with any of your issues on the left. Ask her if she enjoys some of the blessings on the right? You may be surprised to learn your friend has deeper struggles than you or that she enjoys all the same blessings you do. 

It's time to stop obsessing over our parsonage woes and choose joy. 

So how do we do that?

By recognizing we live in a fallen world with broken people.
By choosing to Thank God for the blessings we enjoy.
By leaning into Jesus and depending on Him alone to meet our deepest needs.
By staying in prayer and The Word
By remembering what Christ has done for us and all the privileges we enjoy as a result of being his children.

OOPS I just gave you five steps. Well if they help that's great.
So, my dearest PW's,
Let us live with joy this life God has given us.
I choose to live a joy filled Pastor's wife life.
How about you?

How making soap "saved" me

How making soap "saved" me

Honestly, I've been feeling a little low emotionally and spiritually lately. In the past six months, I've started and quit three jobs.  As a result, I've been holding a little pity part for myself. No one else invited!  Frankly, I've been tempted to roll up in a ball on my couch and never attempt a "real" job again.  

Thankfully, I have a supportive husband and family who believe I am incredible and frequently tell me so.  They are so great!

It's also a blessing to know and be known by our great God who constantly encourages me and leads me to do things, I never thought I'd do. Things, like soap making!

A week after I quit my third job, oh that still hurts to say, I was lying on my couch crying and feeling sorry for myself when my sister-in law posted something on FB about the craft I'd created at Thanksgiving. Here's what we did:

Anyway, she was saying nice things about my creative prowess and encouraging me to think of some craft to teach them all at Christmas. 

So, I pondered her words and poked around Pintrest a bit, okay ALOT.

Aha! Soap making. Let's learn to make soap!

So, I've been experimenting with the cold process method for a few weeks. here's what my first batch looked like! not bad. 

So how did making soap save me? 

I've learned three lessons about soap:

#1.  Making Soap Stinks! 

When you put the lye into the water you have to actually wear protective eyewear and stand back or the fumes will gag you.  It's also dangerous as it could explode if you don't do it right. Here's my nervous self stirring my first batch of lye. You can hear me start to gag at one point.

#2. Making Soap takes time

The cold process of soap requires it to sit and "cure" for four weeks. 

FOUR WEEKS! That's tough for a person who likes to see results right away.

This soap is only two weeks old! I have to wait two more weeks!

#3. Making Soap is worth the effort

The joy of using that first bar of homemade soap is so great. Everything from the fragrance to the clean feeling made me grin from ear to ear.  Not to mention the joy of giving it away to people I love! 

Here's a sign and soap I made to give to my fellow PW, Maggie Rowe

So this does not answer the question of how soap saved me does it? Okay, the three lessons about soap are also three spiritual lessons for me personally. 

#1. Sometimes Life Stinks!

My job fiasco may not be a traumatic loss but it still stinks. I hate feeling like a failure and wondering what my friends and family and church friends think knowing I've not stayed at one job for more than two months. Explaining all the details is so exhausting, so I stopped even trying.  I just acknowledge that the whole thing stunk big time and I'm ready to stop feeling sorry for myself.  See those bible verses on the boards above! They are sticking with me as I move on.  I will be strong and courageous because I know the Lord my God is with me. I will rejoice in the Lord always and I will stand up and say, It is well with my soul!  Yup, life stinks but if you want to make soap..um, I mean progress, you have to keep moving on. 

#2. 

Becoming the person God wants me to be takes time.

I long to be this awesome woman of God that points others to Christ. Yet, I really would rather life just be really fun and easy all the time. I also want to be fully grown up spiritually. Now that I'm almost fifty years old, I really think it's about time I became the spiritual giant I always wanted to be. Nope! I'm just a raw, messed up lady striving after Christ. I do believe I am older and wiser than I was in my twenties.  I also believe, like my soap, that I have a stronger fragrance of Christ in me with each passing day. I guess, I'm okay with this process after all.

#3. 

Growing up in Christ is worth the effort.

Yeah, it does take effort to grow. Perseverance and courage don't come easy to most of us, especially when finances or health, or crucial relationships are in jeopardy.  I am discovering, however, that just as my soaps are an amazing one of a kind gift to give away, my joy and love for Christ is a wonderful gift to share with others. It's the best gift and it's worth the time and effort it takes to fully understand it.

So that's how making soap saved me. Of course it's Christ teaching me as I made soap that saved me.  I'm so glad He did. Though, I still am jobless, I am exhibiting the fragrance of Christ as I trust in his provision and believe that He has the best plan for me. 

How about you? Will you trust in God's plan to take you through some stinky times in order to bring out the best of Him in you? I pray you will persevere and have courage.

If you are interested in learning how these soaps continue to be a blessing go to our brand spankin new website! www.specialteasoaps.com

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