Tinker Bell and my New Year Resolutions

The New Year is coming. Can you hear it crashing down the halls of time? It's almost here and.... eeek! I don't have any resolutions!  I just can't bring myself to make one more silly, self defeating proclamation that is doomed to colossal failure. 

My darling husband is super organized, disciplined and strong. When he makes a resolution, you can bet he will accomplish it to the best of his ability.  I envy his resolve.  What makes him so capable of follow through and me such a woose?

Well my dear Pastor's wife. if you are more like my husband then you may sit back with your cup of tea or coffee and grin at those of us less fortunate. The rest of you, come with me! We have something to talk about.

Here's what I think is going on with this whole New Year's resolution problem.

Those of us with thriving right brains are filled with ideas and plans and pictures of impossible things coming true. We are dreamers who believed in Santa and the tooth fairy and still love Tinker Bell and hope she's real.  Our hearts love deeply and break completely and yet we do not give up hoping for better days. When plans fall through we see the bright side and try to cheer everyone up to our positive outlook. When dark days come, we crumble and cry and then put the pieces back together and stand up to fight another day.  This is who we are.  

Our darling super organized, disciplined, left brainers look at us in awe and wonder how we do it. Then they look at the messes left on the kitchen table, bathroom floor and clothes closets and shake their heads at our awesome ability to function in chaos!

If you get that then you'll really get this. God made us this way! With all our hair-brained ideas and crazy imperfections. He just adores us! In the midst of it all, He gets us.

Her'es a few of my ladies and I just being silly and enjoying being ourselves.

So how does this answer the resolution issue?

Right now left brainers are sipping their coffee going,, "Here come the excuses!"

Nope, no excuses for botched plans and lack of follow through. I take full responsibility for my actions. But I refuse to allow my failures to bring on a bout of self-beating.

I think we must come to a full stop for just a second and ask ourselves three important questions.

#1. What would God have me pursue this year?

#2. How can I accomplish that?

#3. Who or what do I need to help me?

Deep breath, Drink your tea and think through those three questions before moving on. 

This is what it looks like for me:  Instead of saying, "I'm going to lose 20 pounds!" or "I'm going to stop loosing my temper with my children!"

I plan on saying things like,  "I believe God would have me pursue deeper relationships with my children. I will accomplish this by establishing a new routine that includes one on one time. I will need the help of my husband to set up a realistic and workable schedule that works for all of us."

Or, "I believe God would have me pursue better health this year. I will accomplish this by establishing a plan for regular exercise. I will need the help of my friends who love to exercise. I will ask them to walk beside me for a few months until my new routine is established."

Okay, I can already hear you Righties saying, "But, but, but,,, what if I fail? What if my husband won't help? What if don't have any fanatic exercise friends?"

Then you are going to need to ask God to make it CLEAR to you.

Then you are going to give yourself GRACE! That same grace you so readily give others needs to fall to yourself as well.

I also suggest you get CREATIVE!

So, the third week of the exercise program, two of your kids get sick with the flu. You can't go out for a walk as usual, so what do you do? Maybe you do nothing and when everyone is well, you pick yourself up and stand to fight another day?  You do it all the time with other areas of your life. Why not these things as well? Maybe you pull out that crusty Jane Fonda DVD and put on your flash dance attire and laugh at yourself as you exercise.

Our personalities are prone to over reaching and making impossible goals. So, keep your resolutions manageable.  The dreamer inside of us is quick to give up if things get scary or loose their sparkle. So, create goals that have fun built in but be ready to knuckle down and do the hard work as well.

So what will it be this year? How will you pursue God's will for you?

How about one little step at a time with a whole lot of happy thoughts and a little Pixie dust?

Oh dear, there I go again! Let's just take one little step, plan on a bit of fun and hold onto the hope that Tinker Bell is real!

Are you with me? Good. Let's FLY!

-Under the same wing,

Joleen

Christmas at the Parsonage: Following God's lead

Christmas at the Parsonage! You know what this means, don’t you, dear pastor's wife?

Endless hours cooking, cleaning, and decorating. There will be choir rehearsals, children’s programs and countless holiday parties.

People will expect your joy-filled face and well groomed presence at most if not all the events and activities on the church calendar. 

Then of course you will need to navigate your own children’s attire, parties, school outings, and requests for presents. 

If you stay healthy you just may survive. Heaven help you if you or anyone in your household catches the flu during the next few weeks. Because unlike most, you will be expected to soldier on and complete all the above tasks and activities.

When I put it that way, it sounds horrendously tiring doesn’t it? 

Somehow the joy of the season just got sucked right off this page. 

Here is the good news, my faithful, hardworking PW.  By the way if you’ve grudgingly thought those initials PW remind you of prisoner of war instead of pastor’s wife. I implore you to reject that idea soundly. You are no prisoner except if you choose to be. Though there is a war to be fought, it is not against the flesh and blood people in your congregation. The war is against the rulers and principalities of the spiritual realm who would have you beaten, weak, grouchy and rendered useless for the work of the Lord. 

So, again, here is the good news. Jesus came for you! Yes, a simple-truth, but it holds the power you so desperately need in the weeks remaining of this Christmas season. 

Jesus CAME FOR YOU!  He came to save you from bitterness. He came to heal your wounded heart, He came to give you strength, power and a sound mind. He came to redeem your very soul. He came for YOU, because he loves you.  He sees you and He knows you. He longs for you to turn into His embrace. Only there will you find the strength to navigate this season. 

I have been either a Pastor’s kid or a Pastor’s wife for my entire life. So you could say, I grew up in the parsonage and never left. Sure the four walls changed, the congregations changed. But one thing never changed. The truth that Jesus came for me. So, if I may lend a few words of advice for this season it is this:

1. Do everything as unto the Lord not men. Colossians 3:23-4

This verse is not telling me to do EVERYTHING! It is only saying that in the things I do choose, I ought to do them for the pleasure of the Lord. 

One of my guidelines is to choose exactly how many activities I can handle. This year, I’ve been very ill and so, the most I’ve chosen is to have two Christmas parties in my home and to invite a needy family to be with us for the holidays. Though, I’m sure there are those who wish I were more involved in choir or children’s ministries,  I know my limitations this year. So, I chose carefully and plan to please the Lord with my efforts. 

2. Fear the Lord not man - or woman.  Deuteronomy 13:4

Each year, I learn my limitations from the previous year.  I ask myself, “Was I so busy pleasing others that it clouded God’s purposes?”  

When we walk in a healthy fear of the Lord we can “soldier” on as it were. For we are not seeking anyone’s pleasure but God’s. So, if you find you’ve committed to more than you ought, you can find your strength in Christ for this year and learn your limitations for next year.  

3. Devote yourself to prayer. Colossians 4:2-4

Cling to the Lord in prayer. He will hear you and help you. Not just for strength but for the real mission which is that God would open up an opportunity to “speak forth the mystery of Christ.”

We often invite a widow or needy family to share time with us over the holidays. Sometimes they are already part of our church family. One year it was the un-churched man who did some excavating for us. He ended up sharing his struggles with my husband. This led to a meal in our home over the holidays and the Gospel story and a transformed life. 

So be ready. Be ready to hear and see the needy souls around you in your neighborhood, the grocery store, at the bank and yes, even in your own Church foyer.  A prayerful life and heart will keep your eyes and heart open to the prompts of the Holy Spirit.

The bottom-line is this: Who do we serve, God or peoples’ approval?  Contrary to popular assumptions, the pastor’s wife does have a choice. It takes courage and strength to say to no and face criticism. Better that, than a bitter, angry heart that grudgingly does more than it ought. Whatever you do this season, I encourage you to follow the Lord’s lead. I pray you will find joy and comfort in the reminder that Jesus CAME for YOU!

-Under the same wing,

Joleen