Christmas at the Parsonage! You know what this means, don’t you, dear pastor's wife?
Endless hours cooking, cleaning, and decorating. There will be choir rehearsals, children’s programs and countless holiday parties.
People will expect your joy-filled face and well groomed presence at most if not all the events and activities on the church calendar.
Then of course you will need to navigate your own children’s attire, parties, school outings, and requests for presents.
If you stay healthy you just may survive. Heaven help you if you or anyone in your household catches the flu during the next few weeks. Because unlike most, you will be expected to soldier on and complete all the above tasks and activities.
When I put it that way, it sounds horrendously tiring doesn’t it?
Somehow the joy of the season just got sucked right off this page.
Here is the good news, my faithful, hardworking PW. By the way if you’ve grudgingly thought those initials PW remind you of prisoner of war instead of pastor’s wife. I implore you to reject that idea soundly. You are no prisoner except if you choose to be. Though there is a war to be fought, it is not against the flesh and blood people in your congregation. The war is against the rulers and principalities of the spiritual realm who would have you beaten, weak, grouchy and rendered useless for the work of the Lord.
So, again, here is the good news. Jesus came for you! Yes, a simple-truth, but it holds the power you so desperately need in the weeks remaining of this Christmas season.
Jesus CAME FOR YOU! He came to save you from bitterness. He came to heal your wounded heart, He came to give you strength, power and a sound mind. He came to redeem your very soul. He came for YOU, because he loves you. He sees you and He knows you. He longs for you to turn into His embrace. Only there will you find the strength to navigate this season.
I have been either a Pastor’s kid or a Pastor’s wife for my entire life. So you could say, I grew up in the parsonage and never left. Sure the four walls changed, the congregations changed. But one thing never changed. The truth that Jesus came for me. So, if I may lend a few words of advice for this season it is this:
1. Do everything as unto the Lord not men. Colossians 3:23-4
This verse is not telling me to do EVERYTHING! It is only saying that in the things I do choose, I ought to do them for the pleasure of the Lord.
One of my guidelines is to choose exactly how many activities I can handle. This year, I’ve been very ill and so, the most I’ve chosen is to have two Christmas parties in my home and to invite a needy family to be with us for the holidays. Though, I’m sure there are those who wish I were more involved in choir or children’s ministries, I know my limitations this year. So, I chose carefully and plan to please the Lord with my efforts.
2. Fear the Lord not man - or woman. Deuteronomy 13:4
Each year, I learn my limitations from the previous year. I ask myself, “Was I so busy pleasing others that it clouded God’s purposes?”
When we walk in a healthy fear of the Lord we can “soldier” on as it were. For we are not seeking anyone’s pleasure but God’s. So, if you find you’ve committed to more than you ought, you can find your strength in Christ for this year and learn your limitations for next year.
3. Devote yourself to prayer. Colossians 4:2-4
Cling to the Lord in prayer. He will hear you and help you. Not just for strength but for the real mission which is that God would open up an opportunity to “speak forth the mystery of Christ.”
We often invite a widow or needy family to share time with us over the holidays. Sometimes they are already part of our church family. One year it was the un-churched man who did some excavating for us. He ended up sharing his struggles with my husband. This led to a meal in our home over the holidays and the Gospel story and a transformed life.
So be ready. Be ready to hear and see the needy souls around you in your neighborhood, the grocery store, at the bank and yes, even in your own Church foyer. A prayerful life and heart will keep your eyes and heart open to the prompts of the Holy Spirit.
The bottom-line is this: Who do we serve, God or peoples’ approval? Contrary to popular assumptions, the pastor’s wife does have a choice. It takes courage and strength to say to no and face criticism. Better that, than a bitter, angry heart that grudgingly does more than it ought. Whatever you do this season, I encourage you to follow the Lord’s lead. I pray you will find joy and comfort in the reminder that Jesus CAME for YOU!
-Under the same wing,
Joleen
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